July 2002 - Age 15… already larger than my mother *sob*（2002年7月，我15岁，比我妈妈还胖，哭ing）

                 Hello~ this is me… july 2002-ish. I was only fifteen years old. Scary, huh?
        Hello,这就是2002年7月的我，我那时候只有15岁，很恐怖吧？
                I’m not sure how much I weighed at the time… cuz, I never weighed myself. Scared to read a phone number on the scale instead of a normal two digit number… =( All I knew was that I was overweight… WAAAAAAY overweight.

        我不确定那时候我到底多重。因为我从来也不敢去称。我很怕看到体重计上像电话号码一样长的数字，而不是像普通人一样2个阿拉伯数字。=(，我所知道的就是，我超重，我严重超重了！

                 At first, I didn’t think of my obesity as a problem. I come from a big family, u see, most of my family members (on my mom’s side) are slightly plumper than “average”. And.. I’d alwaiz been a “big-boned” child… so I’d gotten use to my size. That’s why I never had any thoughts like, “oh, I’m so fat! I’m so ugly! *boohoo*” I thought that so long as I’m comfortable in my skin, then everything’s fine! But after I hit puberty, the problems commenced. I had trouble breathing… I’d be panting from walking short distances… I just.. kept on growing! While my friends were growing in height, vertically, I was growing in width, horizontally. It was not a good sign. I WASN’T comfortable being that large anymore! I became very sad… and fell into a vicious cycle which I like to call “the Fat-Bastard Cycle” (Fat-Bastard’s one of the characters from the movie Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me). I’m not sure if this quote is accurate, but it totally applied to what I felt and did at the time… Fat-Bastard said sumthing like, “I eat because I’m sad.. and I’m sad because I eat.” Haha… I kno, I kno! It sounds funny~ even to me now, but it was SO true… and it really WAS sad. I needed serious help. That’s why I wanted to diet. Cuz my weight problem was interfering with my mental health as well as my physical health… NOT because I wanted to diet to enter show biz, like some others may have thought.
       之前，我并不认为我的肥胖有什么问题。众所周知，我们家就是个“大”家庭。我家大多数成员都和妈妈一个size，比普通人要胖一些。而且，我一直就是个骨架大的孩子，所以我很习惯自己胖乎乎的。从来也不会去想：我真胖。这样太难看了。（哇哇大哭）。之前我觉得自己这样也挺习惯，但是随着青春期的来临，问题也接踵而至。有时候呼吸都很累，跑几步就气喘吁吁，最可怕的是我还在持续长肉！我的朋友们都开始发育长个子了，只有我还是横向发展。这可不是个好兆头。我可真不想变得那么胖。我很沮丧，同时觉得陷入一个被我命名为“he Fat-Bastard Cycle”的怪圈。（Fat-Bastard是电影《王牌大贱谍2》里面的人物）我不知道这个典故是不是正确，但是很好的表达了我那时候的处境和心中所想。Fat-Bastard说，我拼命吃是因为我很难过，我难过是因为我拼命吃。哈哈，听上去很滑稽。但是这是真的，真的很悲哀。我需要别人的大力帮助。那就是为什么我要瘦身。不是有些人想的那样我为了进军影视圈，而是因为我的体重问题已经影响到了我的生理和心理的健康。

June 2002 – chubby & tubby! Sumtimes I can’t recognize myself in old pictures ><”（2002年6月，肥肥和胖胖。有时候我自己也认不出自己的老照片）

           I remember calling my mom sometime either ON or near my birthday in the year 2003 (my bdai’s on May 30th). I told her, “MOM! I want to diet.” She was skeptical at first… but she supported me on my decision anyway. She even helped me find a good slimming centre to aid me with my diet.
       我记得2003年我过生日前后给妈妈打电话（我生日是5月30号哦），我和她说，妈，我想减肥。她开始挺怀疑的，但是很快她就支持我的决定，并且帮我找了一家很好的减肥中心。
        July 2nd 2003. I remember this date VERY clearly. It was the first day I stepped into the slimming centre. When I stepped on the scale, it read 103.1kg. WOW! That’s a LOT! For a sixteen year old at the height of 166cm, that’s a lot of access weight! My BMI was a whopping 37.4. According to my family doctor, the BMI categories are as follows: normal weight 18.5-24.9, overweight 25-29.9, obesity 30 or over. MY BMI WAS 37.4!!!! THAT’S CRAZY!!!!!
        2003年7月2日，这个日子我记得非常清楚。那是我第一次迈进减肥中心的门口。我站在体重计上，读数显示：103.1kg。天哪！太重了！对于一个166cm的16岁少女来说。我的体脂肪健康指数是37.4。BMI指数如下：正常人是18.5~24.9，微胖是25~29.9，超过30就是肥胖，而我是37.4，上帝呀，太可怕了！（suki友情提示： BMI是Body Mass Index 的缩写，是以你的身高体重计算出来的。由于BMI计算的是身体脂肪的比例，所以在测量身体因超重而面临心脏病、高血压等风险上，比单纯的以体重来认定，更具准确性。特别注意啰！目前世界公认的一种评定肥胖程度的分级方法为“体质指数法”（BMI）。具体计算方法是以体重的千克数除以身高平方（米为单位）、其公式为：体质指数(BMI)=体重（千克）/身高（米）